"...and self seeking will disappear."

So much has happened over the last two weeks. I am not sure where to start. If you want to read the latest update, I posted on DrunkCyclist last week.

It's not all about me anymore.

My niece, Dominic's brother's kid, moved in with us. She's about to turn 18 and can go one of two routes - down the road I went, or finish school and go to college. I enrolled her into a school near by as a senior. It's a school especially designed for displaced kids. It's a great school though. One of my peeps in recovery recommended it. The staff is amazing, and the high school is tiny. Kait LOVES it. She is so good. She sets the alarm on her phone every morning, gets up on her own, and wakes us when it's time to go. The school is about 2 miles from the house. She is playing volleyball and last night they made her varsity captain. She is thriving in this environment. Her home life went to shit when her Mom died 4 years ago, and she's been reaching out to us for 2 years.

I'll admit, the responsibility is huge and at times I buckle under the stress. But, I love the shit out of her. So does Ari. He sleeps with her every night.














The Bones investigation is over. The county prosecutor is a douche bag mother fucker and found the officer in the right for shooting our friend. We marched in protest a couple weeks ago.























Three different news channels were there.












These stickers are on the bike meter parking sign outside the coffee shop I've been working in the last few weeks.













I have been there a few weeks now, and I love it. I know most of the people who come in for coffee. In fact, this week, a guy came in and asked me if I used to live in SanFran. He remembered me from 20 years ago. Crazy shit. Told me I was "lookin' good". Sheesh, sometimes I don't know what to say to people like that.

One of my old boyfriends from 22 years ago was in town last week and he's a cyclist too. We went MTBing one day. He told me he couldn't believe I was still alive. If I had a dollar for every time someone told me that, I'd have a lot of dollars.

I've been going on a night ride on Monday night's the last few weeks called Monday Mayham. It's a fun ride with different types of people. We keep the ride pretty fast but always wait up for the slowest rider. Last week we did 43 miles and it was 11pm when I got home. I fucking love riding bikes at night.

Picture by Michael Providenti











I've been training for CX, without a CX bike. Intense intervals on my road bike, hill repeats like a madwoman, and of course running sprints uphill. My CX bike is still awaiting a makeover. I have acquired a gorgeous Easton carbon fork and this should make my ride much smoother. If only I could afford new wheels....














I am 99% sure I got The Job. The interview went well for the transitional house care coordinator position. I am meeting with the big boss lady and the rest of the staff next week. They have to make sure I can get a "jail clearance", just in case I have to pick some ladies up at the jail. This is my next journey, and I am excited.

I am a big believer in The Plan.

I believe that every thing happens for a reason.

I lost my job last March, but somehow kept my shit together and knew it was all going to work out, according to The Plan.

It just kinna happens, and things fall into place.

I have no control over The Plan.
I just gotta roll with it, and not freak the fuck out.

I applied to a few treatment facilities, a few halfway houses, didnt really expect a response. Then on Monday, I got an email back, requesting I fill out some forms and email them back. Out of 25 applicants, they chose 5 people to interview via phone. I was one of them. Never in my life have I talked about my police record in an interview, but they welcomed it! Now they want to meet me. I am floored. It's part time work but more importantly, it's a foot in the door.

How rad would it be if I could work with women struggling with heroin addiction? I remember when I was in treatment, the only women I connected with who worked at the facility were the ones who had walked in my shoes. It only makes sense that I give back now.

I started working in a rad little coffee shop last week. It's a chill place to work and I like the people, most of whom I know in some way or another. The bussing job didn't work out. It was very hard missing out on Sunday races and the work was a little insane for the money. I feel bad about quitting though.

Last Sunday I got to participate in the bike coop's kids' race. The post is here. http://drunkcyclist.com/2011/08/17/controlled-chaos-mobos-kid-race/

It was such an awesome experience. The day almost ended on a bad note, with this little girl's bike getting stolen. Dominic and I were on our way out, so we did a quick drive by through the neighborhood. We found the bike, took it back, and I rode it back to the coop, about 5 blocks away. It was a great ending to a great day.

Picture by Michael Providenti

So much to say, so little time.

I am not even sure where to begin.

Most importantly, my Mom's surgery is over and her healing process has begun. She is walking on her own and doing physical therapy. After 17 days at my house, her little dog is back home with her. It's a little less stressful around here now.

Lola's adjusting to life here with Ari and Fausto and we are adjusting to her 6am wake up calls. She got spayed yesterday (thank you grant funding at UCAN) and came home in the same day. Dominic cried when we dropped her off and he was a wreck all day until she came home.

Last night was the last 'kids night' at our local bicycle coop. I've been volunteering on Monday nights, and I have to tell you, it is so gratifying. I did a post on DC about it, you can read about it here. I love the kids so much. Teaching a kid to ride a bike gave me goosebumps.

Photo by Michael Providenti
















Last night they made fruit smoothies with this cool set up.














I have been thinking long and hard about what I really want to do for a living. My ideal job would be to work with kids ages 12-17 who struggle with addiction. I have put in a few applications, but so far, nothing's come my way. I have heard it will be impossible to do this type of work with a felony on my record, even if the charge is now 16 years old. I'd settle for working with adults in addiction too, or women who live in transitional houses, just like I did, so long ago. I'd even consider going back to school for an associates degree if I had to.

It's so hard, trying to figure this shit out. I know there is a plan for me, I just don't know what it is.

this type of muscle ache was a vague memory until now.

i just got home from work. my legs are trashed and my muscles are sore in places i didn't even know existed. last weekend, i started back to work, in a restaurant, bussing tables.

i had worked in restaurants for years pre-travel school. the last restaurant i worked in was arnolds. it's an old restaurant, with lots of history.

i have kept in touch with the owner through out the years. finding myself in a desperate situation after leaving the travel industry, i found myself back down there at arnolds, talking to the owner. she agreed to take me back on, as a busser.

i started last friday and worked sat night as well. running up and down stairs, carrying bins of ice and bus pans full of dirty dishes, wiping down tables, resetting them, bringing and refilling waters, busting my ass.

sunday i awoke to a soreness i had not felt in more than a decade. my legs were so fucking sore. i couldn't make the MTB race i was planning to do. i couldn't even ride my bike. i just layed around by the pool. tomorrow i am missing out on the 6 hour MTB race i have been planning to do for the last 6 months. i don't know what will happen when CX season comes.

its humbling, 41 years old and bussing tables. honestly, i don't know what to do. the pay isn't enough to cover half the bills. i struggle with the decision i made when i quit the shitty corporate travel job, but i can't live with regret, right?