90 days - the time flew by.

Mohican, my big ass MTB race, is next weekend. I am having second thoughts about attempting the 100M, verses the 100K. So many people are doubting me, it's very frustrating. I've always been able to accomplish whatever the fuck I want. This is the first time I have ever doubted my ability to do what I want to do.

Then Snake, the pro from DC, sends me this video, and I cried.

"I will believe what others have doubted."
‎"When I get there, I will arrive violently."
‎"My heart and my body will carry me when my limbs are too weak."

That video pumped me up for a good hour, and then my heart was defeated again.

Dominic believes in me.
Snake believes in me.
Dirty Biker believes in me.

Everyone else seems to think I am being too ambitious.
In the end, it's not going to matter what everyone else thinks.
I have to make up my mind before the start of the race.

Saturday, I raced my 1st MTB race and won 3rd in the expert division. The trails were in horrendous condition after 6 inches of rain last week. I was slow as shit, but I finished. I even won back half my registration money. This race was a HUGE reality check for me. It was a tough, tough race, on rough terrain, much like Mohican will be. It took me well over 3 hours and it HURT.

Sunday, I went out to ride on my own, after a leisurely morning spent sleeping in, walking the dogs and catching up with Dominic. I left the house and crossed the ferry and turned right, and then turned left up the first hill I saw, where the road closure signs were. I climbed to the top, and made my way back down, seeing Marty and AK, who are both doing Mohican 100K. I waved at them but they didn't recognize me in my RideClean jersey.














I turned back onto route 8, and then the Bio Wheels women came up from behind me. I popped in their paceline for a few, catching up with Gerry, the nicest girl on that team. She is one of the fastest girls in town, races CX, MTB and road, and kicks ass in all three disciplines. I took a pull, and then took off up another hill to the left of route 8. I continued along, climbing, descending, and recovering on 8. On the way back, I saw Marty and AK again and rode one more hill with them, bullshitting with them all the way up. Both are looking strong and ready for Mohican.

Last night we spent some time with the kids in the neighborhood.













Today I spent the day resting my legs at the pool with Dominic. We weren't the oldest people riding the water slide, either. My lungs are in really good shape. I swam 50 meters under water in 21 seconds. Being 'smokefree' is awesome.

Then we went down to the Taste of Cincinnati. It's a tradition for us. We like the rides. One of us always pukes. This year, Dominic hurled.











Hope you had a good weekend too.

A hasty post about my first day of work and a visit from The Gnome

I started the new job today. I am determined to commute via this:













I was stoked to find a bike rack in the garage hidden by a dumpster. I didn't have to worry about my bike at all during the day. The worst part about commuting on the first day was figuring out where to change clothes so I changed in a coffee shop across the street. I met with HR first and was so fucking happy when she told me it was totally fine to come in the office in my bike clothes and change in the bathroom.

First shift is so not for me. I will be glad to get the training over with and start my regular 4p-12m schedule (jeans and gymshoes allowed). It won't be long. The trainer was impressed with my mad skillz and I was happy to show them off. This job will be a piece of cake compared to my old job where we worked in three res systems. This job I will mainly work in just one. MUCH EASIER. This makes me optimistic. I was re-thinking the entire job today but after a while it sunk in. This is a really good company with superb benefits and I need to appreciate the offer and just get back into work mode.

But damn it was nice being jobless for 2 months.

Gnome from DC was here this weekend. We rode bikes and had nice dinners and watched the 60 Minutes special where Tyler Hamilton sabotages Lance Armstrong's career.

Check out this rad shot he got of Dominic crashing. Both feet off the ground.

















Love my little Gnome. Friends for life, yo.













My friend Val, AKA Winedog, is doing the AIDS/Lifecycle event a 7 day 545 mile ride to benefit AIDS. Please help her with a donation. She's about 500 bucks shy of her goal and needs some support. THANKS.

The end of the world is coming...

...so I better get one last blog post in. The fucking RAPTURE. Sure. Bring it on mother fuckers. Bring it the fuck on.

I just read this awesome story sent in to City Beat by Mark Flanigan. I don't know Mark, but apparently we had a friend on common - BONES. He wrote this beautiful piece, you should go read it. My favorite part was this:

"....your roommate years ago and longed for some time to be part of your bike club, to no avail. More urgently, she was struggling with severe depression and suicidal thoughts when one day she found herself hustling towards home while trying to keep it together. She knew once there she was bound for bed, where she would commence to cry.

She opened the apartment door to find a banana-seated chopper bike with confetti on the handlebars, and soon found herself shedding tears of an entirely unexpected sort. You, of course, had walked that bike out of a thrift store."

THAT is the kind of guy Bones was. His murder made me mad all over again.

Then the videos from Monday's Northside community meeting came out on Facebook, with the dumbass motherfucking cops spewing lies....GOD BLESS the patient folks who were able to sit through that meeting without getting violent. They just keep asking their questions and getting NO answers. I hear it will take 6-7 months before the investigations are complete. Keep stalling bitches. They'll keep stalling, thinking maybe we'll just forget about it. I won't forget. EVER.

Thank you for letting me get my anger out here.

Other than that.....

I had a nice day with my Mom. We went thrift shopping, and then to lunch. Shopping is something my Mom and I have always done together. I found a cute outfit for my new job, total cost - 5 bucks. I am actually feeling ok with having to dress up again, after wearing sweats and yoga pants to work for the last year and a half.

I love thrift store t-shirts.












I plan to commute via bike and change in the coffee shop across the street. My commuter bike is all set, I just need a fender for when it rains. The first couple of weeks I will work regular Mon-Fri hours 9:30am - 6pm for training. Then I will be on 2nd shift, 4pm to midnight with Wen and Sat off. Did I mention I will be making MORE money than my last job? Life works out like that sometimes.

Tomorrow morning me, Dominic and Kevin are manning a bike commuter station in Price Hill at BLOC Coffee from 7-9am for Bike to Work week. If you are on the west side and riding your bike, stop in for free coffee and stuff.

If the end of the world comes, I guess this is it.
LATER.

Saturday nite and I am home blogging.

* The NAMI walk was a success! I raised almost $600 as of this morning, thanks to blog readers and Facebook friends. Our team, my nephew, his Dad and parents, my friend Lora, and my Mom, were the 4th highest $$$ team with over 3K in donations. NAMI raised over 100K which is just awesome.

* I got in some dirt miles this week. I wrote about it on DrunkCyclist. It was hard. We arrived at the park at 7:30 and didn't leave until 4:30pm. I had rode 52 miles when it was all said and done. Only half of what I hope to accomplish at Mohican, in 3 short weeks. I hear it's a fucking muddy mess up there and rain in the forecast for the next 14 days. Next spring, I am MTB racing in Arizona. Fuck this shit.

* I signed the job offer and took the drug test. I offered them a start date of May 23rd. The HR lady is supposed to call to confirm this, but I am 99.9% sure I have the job. If not, I had a call from another travel agency. Apparently, corporate travel agents are in high demand.

* The Gnome, from DrunkCyclist, is flying in this week for a visit. I am psyched to see my little friend. I hear he likes red heads....

* My road bike is not well. I blew out the bottom bracket climbing hills last week. Dominic threw on a new BB but it's still not shifting right, even after Kevin and Ron stayed 45 minutes after the shop's closing time to get it right (THANK YOU!). Tomorrow's ride is more hill repeats so I am just going to stay in my little ring and hope for the best.

* I rode my fixed gear on Monday for 3 hours and worked on my tan. It was in the mid 80's all week and humid as all hell. The temps are dropping about 30 degrees in the next 3 days and I will no doubt lose my tan. Fuck spring. Bring on summer!

* My USAC license may be reg'd to RideClean this year, but I don't have a RideClean kit. I do, however, have a new Revolution Racing kit, sent to me by a DC reader. It's fucking sweet. I also got an Evil Cycling jersey, which is rad. Those guys from All Hail the Black Market are friends with the DC boys so I got in on that. I am definitely not lacking in the jersey department this year. The team thing is WAY overrated. I love the pin I got from Dave - it says "Team Evil Fuck Off".

* Last Sunday was my 10 year anniversary that I quit drinking alcohol. It's hard to believe, though I don't really struggle with it. Sometimes I think it might be nice to have a glass of wine, or a bottle of whiskey. I know it's not possible though, so the thought passes and I forget about it really fast.


My friend Lora with my dogs at the NAMI walk.












At the Mobo bicycle co-op fundraiser











My Mom and I on Mother's Day (I rode to lunch)












Recovery spin on Friday the 13th in my Evil jersey












Blog stickers












A turtle on the trail












TRAILS! MUD!












Caked in mud.

Job offer, NAMI, and climbing hills in the ghetto for Mohican.

First things first - I got a job offer this week. Yes I did. I am waiting to hear back about the schedule I offered them, which would be 4pm-12 midnight, Saturdays and Wednesdays off. The job is very much like my old travel job and I could possibly be working from home by November. Until then, it's less than a 5 mile commute so I can ride my bike there.

On May 14th, a week from today, I am doing a 5K walk for NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness. I am asking you for a donation. The link is here. If you can donate just 5 bucks, it will add up. I am doing this walk with my nephew and brother-in-law and would love to raise $500. I have $168 now. Help me reach my goal!














I have been worried about my big endurance race of the year - a 100 mile MTB race that's coming up in just 4 weeks, the Mohican. The results from last year tell me it's a fucking suffer fest. Only 9 women finished and 8 DNF'd. This is disturbing. The weather was fucked last year too, if I remember correctly. It had rained a couple of inches the week of the event and a lot of people had issues with their bikes and had to DNF. There are 5 aid stations and a cut off time for each one. If I can make all the cut off times I might finish in 13 hours.

Maybe.

So I went to see this guy I know, Marty, who finished in the top 10 last year. He is also a fucking baller. He seems to think I should go for the 100k, NOT the 100m. I really want to finish the 100m which has 11,000 feet of climbing. He gave me some good advice and said to climb, climb, and climb some more. He got me stoked, going on and on about how fucking hard this race is. In my mind, it will be harder than the Ironman.

So on Wednesday, after my pep talk from Marty, I went to Devou park to test my knee. That hill is a "big ring" climb, in Marty's opinion, so I kept that in mind. It's a 1.3 mile low grade climb, and I did it 6xs with no pain. I was happy with this result and decided to meet Marty the next day for some real hill repeats on Sycamore, in Over the Rhine.

Marty was on #7 when I showed up. Like I said, baller. I was shooting for 10xs up this 14-16% grade climb and he was shooting for 30x. Marty slowed down to ride with me. He led me up the hill, turning around at the top of the hill (around the bend in picture), in a store parking lot, and then riding down. He never unclipped or stopped. At the bottom of the hill, there was another store where he turned around and then cut through traffic to pop back up onto the street to start another climb up. No resting.













I made it up 10xs and then changed my goal to go for 15x. I was hurting so bad, but it felt so good, I hadn't worked that hard in a long time. After #15, I decided to go for 18x. Marty left me at this point to pick up his pace. We both put our headphones on, waving at each other going up and down that fucking hill. After #18, I decided to make the goal an even number of 20, and started back up the hill. That's when I saw Marty, who was on #26, on the side of the road with a sliced tire. He called his buddy who picked him up, and I finished two more on my own. Marty had over 6000 feet of climbing down in less than 30 miles. That is a lot of fucking climbing. I had over 4000 and less than 20 miles. On my way home, I climbed a short 18% grade hill parallel to Glenway, and then up Glenway, which had to put me over 4500 feet of climbing by the time I was home.

My legs were shaking like never before.

That night I did the Slow and Steady ride on my fixie, and my legs were feeling good in a spinny gear of 42 x 18.













We had a great time, there were almost 40 people on the ride. It was also Cinco de Mayo, so there were lots of parties going on downtown. We hit the square and did a loop around downtown before heading back to Northside for pizza. I devoured half a large pizza at North Slice.












Yesterday I went out to the west side of route 8 and climbed for a 3rd day in a row. I rode 42+ miles with climbs up to Hebron, Park Hills, and of course back up into Price Hill. I was pretty spent and my gluts were on fire as I climbed the last hill home.

Today my legs are trashed and I am forcing myself to stay off my bike for a day.

I am trying to be optimistic about the race but without any dirt miles, I fear a DNF.

Hopefully the weather will clear up and the trails will re open soon.
I can have a little hope, I guess.
Right?

TRUTH FOR BONES

City Beat published the real story behind Bones' murder. Read it here.

The murder of my friend Bones has affected me in a way I can't even explain. I am not the same person anymore, and doubt I ever will be again. I've seen other friends of Bones affected in the same way. It's not just mourning the death of a friend, which I have done several times with OD's, and such. The injustice of his death will haunt me for the rest of my life, and the lives of his friends who live on, hoping the truth will be revealed and justice will be served.

A moving video was posted of our memorial march on Sunday. More than 400 people showed up.

Gratitude, even in the darkest moments.

Another week of being unemployed, another week of a few long days in the saddle, and another week of mourning the loss of my friend Bones.

The status of my unemployment was approved and I received one check, for one week. No back pay, just the one week. It helped get the mortgage covered for another month, so for that I am grateful. I had a second interview at the travel job downtown. I expect to hear something this week. I am trying to stay optimistic but it's a struggle. I have a really good reference from my old job, and for this, I am happy.

I found a new sponsor and have been going to lots of new meetings. A daily gratitude list is texted to her every morning. This is something I do on my own - she does not ask for it. In fact, she doesn't ask me to do much of anything except read, show up and ask questions if needed. She answers the phone, she texts me back, and she has this incredible group of women and men that love the shit out of her. She has an incredible story, a shitload of spirituality, and I adore her.

I rode well over 200 miles this week. I even rode my Voodoo for a couple of hours on paved trail. That bike needs adjustments but they will come in time. Thursday I rode 60 miles, Friday I rode 75 miles, and Saturday I rode just 40. I hate endurance now. Give me a short, fast, technical race over this long and slow shit any day of the week. Because of the rainthatneverends, I rode rollers today. A hard ride, keeping my HR in the 170's for 90 minutes. My legs are sore but the sweat dripping off my arms and legs made me feel oh so fucking good.

A New Orleans style memorial march was held for Bones in Northside yesterday. Hundreds of us gathered for a silent march with a New Orleans style jazz band. We started on Chase ave near the steps where he was murdered, all the way up to Hamilton and to Hoffner park. I saw faces of friends I had not seen in 20 years. We hugged, laughed, cried, and most of all, remembered our friend Bones. It was amazing how many showed up for this event. People came from all over the US. He was loved by so many. We even made the news, yet again.

YouTube Video here.

Pictures by Mel Unmysterio.

The spray paint murial for Bones, RIP.