I am so proud of all these people who showed up yesterday at the City Council meeting downtown. Everyone spoke so eloquently, to stand up for Bones and demand answers. I love all of you.
Read more here.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Sunday, April 24, 2011
I rode almost 200 miles this week.
My knee is feeling about 90% better but is sore to touch. The more I pedal, the better it gets. It hurts the most after I've been sleeping, it gets stiff and sore from lack of movement. Dominic tells me that's normal for a contusion. He should know. He's had plenty.
Monday's ride was just some city miles with a few friends, after we learned of Bones' murder. The fresh air and sunshine did us all some good, even though we were still in shock from the news. I stayed in the little ring, and worked my right leg more than the left, to accommodate my still-sore knee. It was my first ride after a week, and it felt really good to pedal my bike.
Tuesday I had an interview for a corporate travel job downtown. It went pretty well, I was interviewed for two hours. I haven't heard back yet. Not sure if that's a good sign or not. It's really hard to be optimistic, honestly.
I spun my legs for 90 minutes on the rollers after my interview, waiting for the cable man. I rode my bike until he arrived and then later that night, had acupuncture. Carole needed help with some paperwork, so she worked on me for free, in exchange for some office work.
Wednesday I got back to my paper route and stayed busy until noon. Then I had a ton of stuff to do so I stayed off the bike. That night I looked into doing some volunteering at Mobo, the local bike co-op. They will be starting a kids program in June and I want to be a part of that, somehow. I might as well get in some volunteer time, being unemployed and all.
Thursday I got in two rides. Ride #1 consisted of me, solo, a lot of saddle time, a lot of alone time in my head and a lot of anger. Every song that came on my MP3 reminded me of Bones and the tragedy that ended in his murder. I rode and rode and rode, and then it was time to meet Dominic at the house to leave for ride #2.
Because my knee was killing me from 4+ hours in the saddle, we drove to Kelon's house and left from there for the Thursday night Slow and Steady ride. It's a 15 mile night ride through downtown, and NKy. The lights across the city are pretty and it was first time I smiled in days.
It was so refreshing to just ride, and not worry about how fast, how many miles, heart rate, shit like that. It was fun to just ride bikes with other people who like to ride bikes. For me, it's important to remember that it's not about crossing a fucking finish line, it's about the bicycle.
Friday I had an appointment that took up most of my day and that night I had date night with Dominic. We had burrito's and then went to a meeting. The meeting was a last second decision. He wanted to go play pool, but we were just a few blocks away from a 7pm, so that's where we went. We heard a very awesome woman speak, she moved me to tears. It was a good night.
Saturday, the rain stopped around 10am. I got a text from Amanda asking if I was going to ride, just as I was pulling on my jersey. She met me downtown at 11:15am and we headed north, away from the flooding Ohio River. We made it to Mariemont in 45 minutes and headed to Loveland via the bike trail. Both of our bikes were splattered with mud, as well as our jerseys, bibs, and shoes.
After a coffee stop, we hopped back on the trail, ran into Jeni and Darren, who were headed north to Xenia. I gave Jeni a quick hug, and we were back on our way. Within minutes, the rain started and the clouds got darker and darker. We rode through Mariemont and once we tuned onto Erie, a dude on a very expensive Pinarello pulled up at a red light. We made chit chat for a few, and then he was all "see ya later" and took off when the light turned green. Knowing Amanda well enough, I knew she wasn't going to let him pass us. She put the hammer down and it was on. We chased him down Erie and then up the hill, where she easily passed him, and I was hot on her wheel, which was splattering water into my face and eyes. The rain was coming down so fucking hard, I couldn't see a thing, my eyes stinging with a mixture of sweat and rain. Once at the top of Erie, at the light, dude on a fancy Pinarello caught up to us and we all turned left on Delta. We coasted down the hill slowly, the rain was coming down so hard, neither one of us could see shit.
Once down Eastern, Amanda talked me into going to her house in Covington instead of going the extra 3 miles and up Glenway hill. Dominic had been blowing up my phone and I knew he was worried, so I agreed to let her drive me home.
Buckets and buckets of rain, thunder booming loudly, lightening flashing, streets flooding, and we were out riding bikes. It was crazy. Epic. A ride I will never forget. It felt good to be alive and suffering physically, after the emotional heartache I've been feeling all week.
I got in 20 more miles on the rollers today before heading out to help Carole rip up carpet at her house.
Tomorrow I am doing a solo century ride. Dreading the alone time but also kind of looking forward to it.
There are now 3 investigations underway into the shooting of my friend Bones by Cincinnati Police officer Andrew Mitchell. Watch the video. Nothing adds up, except a dead body and a bunch of fucking lies.
Monday's ride was just some city miles with a few friends, after we learned of Bones' murder. The fresh air and sunshine did us all some good, even though we were still in shock from the news. I stayed in the little ring, and worked my right leg more than the left, to accommodate my still-sore knee. It was my first ride after a week, and it felt really good to pedal my bike.
Tuesday I had an interview for a corporate travel job downtown. It went pretty well, I was interviewed for two hours. I haven't heard back yet. Not sure if that's a good sign or not. It's really hard to be optimistic, honestly.
I spun my legs for 90 minutes on the rollers after my interview, waiting for the cable man. I rode my bike until he arrived and then later that night, had acupuncture. Carole needed help with some paperwork, so she worked on me for free, in exchange for some office work.
Wednesday I got back to my paper route and stayed busy until noon. Then I had a ton of stuff to do so I stayed off the bike. That night I looked into doing some volunteering at Mobo, the local bike co-op. They will be starting a kids program in June and I want to be a part of that, somehow. I might as well get in some volunteer time, being unemployed and all.
Thursday I got in two rides. Ride #1 consisted of me, solo, a lot of saddle time, a lot of alone time in my head and a lot of anger. Every song that came on my MP3 reminded me of Bones and the tragedy that ended in his murder. I rode and rode and rode, and then it was time to meet Dominic at the house to leave for ride #2.
Because my knee was killing me from 4+ hours in the saddle, we drove to Kelon's house and left from there for the Thursday night Slow and Steady ride. It's a 15 mile night ride through downtown, and NKy. The lights across the city are pretty and it was first time I smiled in days.
It was so refreshing to just ride, and not worry about how fast, how many miles, heart rate, shit like that. It was fun to just ride bikes with other people who like to ride bikes. For me, it's important to remember that it's not about crossing a fucking finish line, it's about the bicycle.
Friday I had an appointment that took up most of my day and that night I had date night with Dominic. We had burrito's and then went to a meeting. The meeting was a last second decision. He wanted to go play pool, but we were just a few blocks away from a 7pm, so that's where we went. We heard a very awesome woman speak, she moved me to tears. It was a good night.
Saturday, the rain stopped around 10am. I got a text from Amanda asking if I was going to ride, just as I was pulling on my jersey. She met me downtown at 11:15am and we headed north, away from the flooding Ohio River. We made it to Mariemont in 45 minutes and headed to Loveland via the bike trail. Both of our bikes were splattered with mud, as well as our jerseys, bibs, and shoes.
After a coffee stop, we hopped back on the trail, ran into Jeni and Darren, who were headed north to Xenia. I gave Jeni a quick hug, and we were back on our way. Within minutes, the rain started and the clouds got darker and darker. We rode through Mariemont and once we tuned onto Erie, a dude on a very expensive Pinarello pulled up at a red light. We made chit chat for a few, and then he was all "see ya later" and took off when the light turned green. Knowing Amanda well enough, I knew she wasn't going to let him pass us. She put the hammer down and it was on. We chased him down Erie and then up the hill, where she easily passed him, and I was hot on her wheel, which was splattering water into my face and eyes. The rain was coming down so fucking hard, I couldn't see a thing, my eyes stinging with a mixture of sweat and rain. Once at the top of Erie, at the light, dude on a fancy Pinarello caught up to us and we all turned left on Delta. We coasted down the hill slowly, the rain was coming down so hard, neither one of us could see shit.
Once down Eastern, Amanda talked me into going to her house in Covington instead of going the extra 3 miles and up Glenway hill. Dominic had been blowing up my phone and I knew he was worried, so I agreed to let her drive me home.
Buckets and buckets of rain, thunder booming loudly, lightening flashing, streets flooding, and we were out riding bikes. It was crazy. Epic. A ride I will never forget. It felt good to be alive and suffering physically, after the emotional heartache I've been feeling all week.
I got in 20 more miles on the rollers today before heading out to help Carole rip up carpet at her house.
Tomorrow I am doing a solo century ride. Dreading the alone time but also kind of looking forward to it.
There are now 3 investigations underway into the shooting of my friend Bones by Cincinnati Police officer Andrew Mitchell. Watch the video. Nothing adds up, except a dead body and a bunch of fucking lies.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
RIP my friend, Bones.
**** UPDATED BELOW 4/22 ****
It was early December, I think. I hadn't seen him in a decade. We stood outside Kelon's house, in the cold, and hugged. It was snowing. His face was a tad gray but he was smiling. I was happy to see him and wanted to help him stop drinking.
Bones came back to Cincinnati last winter. He came over a few times with Kelon and we talked and shared crazy stories. He stayed off the drink for a couple months. I gave him some job leads.
After a while I heard he was drinking again.
Then last Monday morning, the cops shot and killed him. I heard about it via text and the news spread fast on Facebook. I made a few calls and got down to the real story behind the shooting, which I won't disclose on this blog until the investigation is out in the open. It's still too raw and the details are shocking. Just know this:
The Cincinnati Police Department are known for killing unarmed men.
The community is outraged.
His friends are talking to reporters.
The cop who killed him has been known to use excessive force in the past.
I am sad and angry. Bones was a kind spirit, never harmful to anyone. He was sitting on a fucking stoop drinking a 40 and was shot and killed in a violent manner.
HE DID NOT DESERVE THIS! HE WAS A GOOD MAN!!!
RIP Bones.
*******Update 4/22********
No video of the actual shooting from police car camera.
Cop had been previously disciplined for not following procedure.
*********************************************************************
It was early December, I think. I hadn't seen him in a decade. We stood outside Kelon's house, in the cold, and hugged. It was snowing. His face was a tad gray but he was smiling. I was happy to see him and wanted to help him stop drinking.
Bones came back to Cincinnati last winter. He came over a few times with Kelon and we talked and shared crazy stories. He stayed off the drink for a couple months. I gave him some job leads.
After a while I heard he was drinking again.
Then last Monday morning, the cops shot and killed him. I heard about it via text and the news spread fast on Facebook. I made a few calls and got down to the real story behind the shooting, which I won't disclose on this blog until the investigation is out in the open. It's still too raw and the details are shocking. Just know this:
The Cincinnati Police Department are known for killing unarmed men.
The community is outraged.
His friends are talking to reporters.
The cop who killed him has been known to use excessive force in the past.
I am sad and angry. Bones was a kind spirit, never harmful to anyone. He was sitting on a fucking stoop drinking a 40 and was shot and killed in a violent manner.
HE DID NOT DESERVE THIS! HE WAS A GOOD MAN!!!
RIP Bones.
*******Update 4/22********
No video of the actual shooting from police car camera.
Cop had been previously disciplined for not following procedure.
*********************************************************************
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Playing 'Patty Positive'
In recovery, you are supposed to pick a "guide". Someone with a lot of years being clean and sober. Someone to work the 12 steps with you. It's also known as a "sponsor". I've gone through two now. The latest girl fired ME. I have to look at my part in this and am trying to be positive, hoping to gain something from this experience. So with that, I am writing a "gratitude" list. No one told me to do this. I am doing it because I feel like my negativity is getting me NOWHERE, real fucking fast. I am 47 days into this and do not want to give up.
Ten things to be thankful for (not in any particular order):
1. My friends.
I have found out that I have some really good friends. The ones who have shown me how to be a better person, and the ones who accept my apology when I act like an ass. They are all to be cherished. Thank you.
2. My husband.
Dominic loves the shit out of me. He teaches me to be a better person. We don't always get along. We fight. We yell. We kiss and make up. I am lucky to have a partner for life.
3. My animals.
My dogs and cats are my only sanity some days. They love me unconditionally.
4. My house.
Yea, it's a little 4 room house in the shitty part of town, worth maybe a third of what I purchased it for - but it's mine. I have a roof over my head and a yard for my dogs. I have a basement with a bikeshop and a yard to mow. It's better than having no place to lay my head, which I remember all too well.
5. The furnace died in April instead of January.
My furnace died this week. Luckily it's April and we won't need heat for another 5 months. That gives us time to save some money. If this had happened last winter, we'd have been fucked. So, this is one of the things I am grateful for.
6. My xanex prescription.
Don't laugh. I am for real. I know, eventually, I will have to come off this shit, but for now, it keeps me calm and relaxed when I am hyped and freaking out.
7. Blogging.
I have the guts and the courage to put it all out there. A lot of people judge me, and that's ok. I have learned so much from this blog, the people who read it, and the emails I get on a weekly basis are worth it. I am also thankful for DrunkCyclist and the writers I've become life long friends with.
8. My bikes.
Where would I be without my bikes? Need I say more?
9. Recovery.
I am thankful for these 47 days and the lessons I have learned so far. If I can hang on, I think I can get rid of this angst inside of me, the grudges I have held onto for most of my life, and learn to become a better wife, daughter, friend.
10. My discipline.
When I say I am going to do something, I do it, and I put my heart and soul into the effort. If I didn't have the discipline, I couldn't do any of it. I don't know where it comes from, but I am thankful I have it. Not too many people in this world have the strength and determination that I have and I recognize that.
Ten things to be thankful for (not in any particular order):
1. My friends.
I have found out that I have some really good friends. The ones who have shown me how to be a better person, and the ones who accept my apology when I act like an ass. They are all to be cherished. Thank you.
2. My husband.
Dominic loves the shit out of me. He teaches me to be a better person. We don't always get along. We fight. We yell. We kiss and make up. I am lucky to have a partner for life.
3. My animals.
My dogs and cats are my only sanity some days. They love me unconditionally.
4. My house.
Yea, it's a little 4 room house in the shitty part of town, worth maybe a third of what I purchased it for - but it's mine. I have a roof over my head and a yard for my dogs. I have a basement with a bikeshop and a yard to mow. It's better than having no place to lay my head, which I remember all too well.
5. The furnace died in April instead of January.
My furnace died this week. Luckily it's April and we won't need heat for another 5 months. That gives us time to save some money. If this had happened last winter, we'd have been fucked. So, this is one of the things I am grateful for.
6. My xanex prescription.
Don't laugh. I am for real. I know, eventually, I will have to come off this shit, but for now, it keeps me calm and relaxed when I am hyped and freaking out.
7. Blogging.
I have the guts and the courage to put it all out there. A lot of people judge me, and that's ok. I have learned so much from this blog, the people who read it, and the emails I get on a weekly basis are worth it. I am also thankful for DrunkCyclist and the writers I've become life long friends with.
8. My bikes.
Where would I be without my bikes? Need I say more?
9. Recovery.
I am thankful for these 47 days and the lessons I have learned so far. If I can hang on, I think I can get rid of this angst inside of me, the grudges I have held onto for most of my life, and learn to become a better wife, daughter, friend.
10. My discipline.
When I say I am going to do something, I do it, and I put my heart and soul into the effort. If I didn't have the discipline, I couldn't do any of it. I don't know where it comes from, but I am thankful I have it. Not too many people in this world have the strength and determination that I have and I recognize that.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Practicing some humility
I am not doing so hot, things seem to be spiraling downward.
My unemployment hasn't been approved or denied. It's still pending. No money from them. I got my last paycheck and it was only for a few hours. I paid off the utility bills and insurance and have been socking away every penny Dominic brings home from his job. I am pretty destroyed financially.
I hate to blog about this, but I blog about all the other shit in my life, why not let it all out - that's why I write here. I just know my old co-workers read this blog and it's embarrassing - hence the post's title.
I've been trying to find sponsors for some upcoming bike race events for BigDaveSports. I've contacted just about everyone I know who owns their own business, as well as a few other contacts I have in the bike industry. If you are reading this blog and want to sponsor some events, LMK!
Yesterday, as I was stopping by a few places downtown, a guy on the street pointed out that I had a flat tire. Awesome. I'd been driving around with a flat for who knows how long. I went back up to P-hill to see my auto-guy to get some air in my tire. When I opened my door, I could see I had parked in a 3 inch puddle. Instead of moving the car, I tried to hop over the puddle. I fell really hard and slammed my knee cap right into the cement. I hobbled inside, blood dripping down my leg.
Last night my knee looked like this:
Today I can't even walk. I borrowed a pair of crutches from Bionic Blaire on my way home from a meeting last night. I insisted on going, even though it hurt like a mother fucker to push my leg in to the clutch to change gears. I think I am really fucked. I could show up to urgent care and whip out my insurance card even though it's dead. Then again, I am not strong enough to deny pain pills if they offer them. I am going to give it a couple more days and hope like hell this is just a bad contusion.
I just called my paper delivery job and canceled tomorrow's delivery. They weren't happy about it but what the fuck am I supposed to do?
I just can't catch a break, and the pity party is starting to get rowdy up in here.
FML.
My unemployment hasn't been approved or denied. It's still pending. No money from them. I got my last paycheck and it was only for a few hours. I paid off the utility bills and insurance and have been socking away every penny Dominic brings home from his job. I am pretty destroyed financially.
I hate to blog about this, but I blog about all the other shit in my life, why not let it all out - that's why I write here. I just know my old co-workers read this blog and it's embarrassing - hence the post's title.
I've been trying to find sponsors for some upcoming bike race events for BigDaveSports. I've contacted just about everyone I know who owns their own business, as well as a few other contacts I have in the bike industry. If you are reading this blog and want to sponsor some events, LMK!
Yesterday, as I was stopping by a few places downtown, a guy on the street pointed out that I had a flat tire. Awesome. I'd been driving around with a flat for who knows how long. I went back up to P-hill to see my auto-guy to get some air in my tire. When I opened my door, I could see I had parked in a 3 inch puddle. Instead of moving the car, I tried to hop over the puddle. I fell really hard and slammed my knee cap right into the cement. I hobbled inside, blood dripping down my leg.
Last night my knee looked like this:
Today I can't even walk. I borrowed a pair of crutches from Bionic Blaire on my way home from a meeting last night. I insisted on going, even though it hurt like a mother fucker to push my leg in to the clutch to change gears. I think I am really fucked. I could show up to urgent care and whip out my insurance card even though it's dead. Then again, I am not strong enough to deny pain pills if they offer them. I am going to give it a couple more days and hope like hell this is just a bad contusion.
I just called my paper delivery job and canceled tomorrow's delivery. They weren't happy about it but what the fuck am I supposed to do?
I just can't catch a break, and the pity party is starting to get rowdy up in here.
FML.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
What day is it?
The days are all starting to run together. I've been riding bikes just about everyday. My unemployment went through, though it's not much money. Dominic's picking up shifts left and right so I am not worried. I am looking for work, but not in the travel industry. Fuck that. I want to do something I love. I may even write my book this summer. I am staying optimistic though.
Today the sun was shining and the wind was blowing hard. After my paper delivery route, I went out for hill repeats. I rode with Chip, and we did Heekin 6xs. After a few recovery laps in Ault Park, I stopped by Chip's for a new helmet he didn't want anymore, and then rode home. In the unforgiving wind. Dear God, I need my steel frame built up because my ass is gonna get blown away on my carbon bike.
Yesterday I brought Dominic to an LBS ride. Not a great idea. I forgot how much he hates group rides, the rules, and roadies in general. We should have just rode together. After a few miles into the group ride, we turned off and headed back to the car and out to dinner. The helmet I brought home from Chip's is for Dominic. He STILL won't wear a helmet and it's pissing me off. This helmet is pretty fucking nice, a Laser D2, and he tried it on tonight when he got home. Maybe there is hope....
Monday I took the day off the bike and lifted weights. My core is flabby. I am STILL fucking bloated and being a woman just sucks sometimes. I probably should just leave it at that.
Sunday I rode MTB's w/ a couple guys from my LBS at Versailles. I love the trails there. We didn't ride all that far though, 2+ hours or so. One of the guys had his girlf with him and she wasn't into riding too long.
Saturday was the ride that kicked my ass like it's never been kicked before. Amanda and I joined the LBS ride in the morning, and then we planned to add on 30 or so miles after that. The shop ride was posted as "easy, chilled out". Never show up to an LBS ride with Amanda and Cooper-Kick Ass expecting an easy ride. I never worked so fucking hard on a training ride in all my life. All of the sudden there were about 7 of us off the front, hauling fucking ass, in a beautiful paceline, taking turns pulling. My HR was in the 180's. OWWWW. We pretty much rode like that until we hit the hills, and then we'd re-group at the top. I stayed with the group the entire 40 miles and then got dropped about 5 miles from the shop. I was toast. Amanda and I re-fueled up and went back out for more miles and she was still hauling ass. I couldn't wait till she turned off so I could slow the fuck down. Then I rode home with some very sore and tired legs.
Tomorrow I'll be back on my MTB, and this weekend it's supposed to be in the 80's. I am stoked for more riding!
Today the sun was shining and the wind was blowing hard. After my paper delivery route, I went out for hill repeats. I rode with Chip, and we did Heekin 6xs. After a few recovery laps in Ault Park, I stopped by Chip's for a new helmet he didn't want anymore, and then rode home. In the unforgiving wind. Dear God, I need my steel frame built up because my ass is gonna get blown away on my carbon bike.
Yesterday I brought Dominic to an LBS ride. Not a great idea. I forgot how much he hates group rides, the rules, and roadies in general. We should have just rode together. After a few miles into the group ride, we turned off and headed back to the car and out to dinner. The helmet I brought home from Chip's is for Dominic. He STILL won't wear a helmet and it's pissing me off. This helmet is pretty fucking nice, a Laser D2, and he tried it on tonight when he got home. Maybe there is hope....
Monday I took the day off the bike and lifted weights. My core is flabby. I am STILL fucking bloated and being a woman just sucks sometimes. I probably should just leave it at that.
Sunday I rode MTB's w/ a couple guys from my LBS at Versailles. I love the trails there. We didn't ride all that far though, 2+ hours or so. One of the guys had his girlf with him and she wasn't into riding too long.
Saturday was the ride that kicked my ass like it's never been kicked before. Amanda and I joined the LBS ride in the morning, and then we planned to add on 30 or so miles after that. The shop ride was posted as "easy, chilled out". Never show up to an LBS ride with Amanda and Cooper-Kick Ass expecting an easy ride. I never worked so fucking hard on a training ride in all my life. All of the sudden there were about 7 of us off the front, hauling fucking ass, in a beautiful paceline, taking turns pulling. My HR was in the 180's. OWWWW. We pretty much rode like that until we hit the hills, and then we'd re-group at the top. I stayed with the group the entire 40 miles and then got dropped about 5 miles from the shop. I was toast. Amanda and I re-fueled up and went back out for more miles and she was still hauling ass. I couldn't wait till she turned off so I could slow the fuck down. Then I rode home with some very sore and tired legs.
Tomorrow I'll be back on my MTB, and this weekend it's supposed to be in the 80's. I am stoked for more riding!
Friday, April 1, 2011
30+ days and the dreams won't stop....
It's been a month since I quit smoking weed. A month of total and complete sobriety. The dreams are as bad as they were the first week. In fact last night, I woke up in sheer terror, yelling out loud and knocking two framed pictures off the wall. The night before Dominic had night terrors as well, waking me up twice. I can't understand what the fuck is going on inside my brain but I am starting to dread sleep. And I love to sleep. I am exhausted when morning comes and my eyeballs seem to be on overdrive from REM.
Last night's dream was by far the worst one so far. My friend Aaron, who od'ed over 10 years ago, was alive and I had to take him to the doctor to be put to sleep, like you would an old dog. I held his hand while they put the needle of death into his arm and waited while the drugs kicked in, and then he was gone. I was freaking the fuck out, and went to my x-co-worker's house to cop some dope (this girl never did dope in real life). I watched her shoot up and then got my own bag. In these dreams, I never use the drugs, it's just the search for them.
I've always had drug dreams off and on throughout the last ten years. Never have I experienced dreams as intense and vivid as these. Most of the dreams are harmless, and have been centered around the guys from DrunkCyclist. The night before, I dreamt that me and Stevil were hanging out with Dirty Biker and I missed my midnight flight back to Ohio. All I was worried about was how mad Dominic was going to be. I think that's because both Stevil and I shared the spotlight on bicycling.com as guest bloggers this week.
PMS is in full effect the last 10 days. I am eating everything I can get my hands on, breaking all my rules. I want to eat and eat and eat. I cannot get full and my belly is bloated and gross looking.
I've been riding my beautiful new 29'er Voodoo as much as I can this week. Here is a quick video Dominic shot today on the teeters.
Last night's dream was by far the worst one so far. My friend Aaron, who od'ed over 10 years ago, was alive and I had to take him to the doctor to be put to sleep, like you would an old dog. I held his hand while they put the needle of death into his arm and waited while the drugs kicked in, and then he was gone. I was freaking the fuck out, and went to my x-co-worker's house to cop some dope (this girl never did dope in real life). I watched her shoot up and then got my own bag. In these dreams, I never use the drugs, it's just the search for them.
I've always had drug dreams off and on throughout the last ten years. Never have I experienced dreams as intense and vivid as these. Most of the dreams are harmless, and have been centered around the guys from DrunkCyclist. The night before, I dreamt that me and Stevil were hanging out with Dirty Biker and I missed my midnight flight back to Ohio. All I was worried about was how mad Dominic was going to be. I think that's because both Stevil and I shared the spotlight on bicycling.com as guest bloggers this week.
PMS is in full effect the last 10 days. I am eating everything I can get my hands on, breaking all my rules. I want to eat and eat and eat. I cannot get full and my belly is bloated and gross looking.
I've been riding my beautiful new 29'er Voodoo as much as I can this week. Here is a quick video Dominic shot today on the teeters.
Untitled from judi rothenbeg on Vimeo.
Have a great weekend. I'm heading to bed so I can be rested and ready for Amanda to rip my legs off on a 5 hour road ride tomorrow.
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