I look back to decades past, and think "wow, shit was easy back then."
In my 20's, I was in a drug induced haze. I don't even remember who was in office, let alone vote for them. I remember making stencils that read "Eat Quayle Drink Bush" and spray painting that shit on my leather jacket. Yet, at the time, I really didn't give a shit about the government, I just knew that all politicians were crooks and that Government was the enemy.
Yet, I stood in line for welfare and food stamps in SF and sold them for dope. Hypocritical maybe?
I was declared indigent by the courts in 96', as I stood in front of a judge for crimes I committed. The state paid my way through drug treatment and drug court. I got food stamps and welfare as I lived in a halfway house, until I could stand on my own two feet and get a fucking job.
In my 30's, I decided I wanted to live like a "normal" person. I went to trade school, got a real job, with a BIG CORPORATE company, and I had health insurance that actually paid the bills when I went to the doctor. I was riddled with anger throughout the 7 years I spent at that job. I fucking hated it. Yet, I loved the benefits and the vacation days and the fact that I could have a credit card and a buy a house, in MY name.
Then the insurance premiums went up.
And up and up and up.
I changed jobs.
I had worse insurance.
I noticed bills from the doctor's office. I was paying more and more for insurance that didn't cover anything.
Then I lost that job and haven't paid a dime for insurance since.
Fuck it.
I sat in bankruptcy court this summer and watched people declare a Chapter 7, couples with 300K houses, Lexus cars, boob jobs, and motorcycles. Then they called the LoPresti's up to the stand. The judge announced our debt, our home worth 22K, our cars worth under 4K...
And now here I am, 41 years old, and back to where I started when I was 20.
No credit.
No insurance.
Struggling with addiction on a day to day basis.
Working for 7 bucks an hour in a coffee shop with a bunch of 20 year olds.
My eyes are wide open today. I watch the news. I see them talk shit. It's the same fucking shit that went on when I was 20, it's just a different decade.
I may be part of the 99%, but this Occupy shit just isn't a priority for me and marching downtown in front of the banks certainly isn't going to change MY life.
Now, go ride your fuckin' bike or something.
10 comments:
It is gonna take a grassroots effort to fix this. And you can't get much rootier than guys like us. I just posted about being chased by dogs but I think I'm going to do a little poly-sci rambling and raving soon. Grant Peterson commented about OWS over at Riv and now you...so I'll be in good company.
Thanks for getting me started.
Do bicycle helmets make good riot gear? Not that I have one...
Right now is far from the late 80's Judi..We are living the 19030's all over again. The occupy movement was born out of a very similar movement that happened during the great depression. People camped out as well back then in protest to losing everything. My concern is not so much what is going on now but what is coming. Remember what happened in the 1940's ? Yep...Makes sense since all we make in this country are guns and weapons. All shall be revealed soon....BTW that is yours trueley standing in your pic above..
Charlie C
I am going to write about this on PBE in a day or so, the Occupy movement that is.
But for now, you need to believe what I already know about you. You are a powerful woman on an amazing journey. I have a book for you. I'll send it to you when I'm done reading it.
The Occupy effort is a misquided joke. The result of democratic ignorance. A Mob. Mob mentality. fuck all those jokers. They have no clue what they are for or against. All they indicate, is that things are heading for the worse.
I'm in the same flow Judi. I'm doing now what I did in my twenties, making the exact same wages. Living check to check. If the time between then and now is the highlight of my life, that's pretty grim business.
-gnome
It is very, very hard to maintain anything resembling hope in a world where so much is going to hell.
I understand the rage, and the hopelessness.
I also know that every morning I am allowed to wake up and live again is a gift, and that I must no squander it. Tha doesn't necessarily mean I'm going to eret a tent at the Occupy camp in doowntown Portland; but it does mean that each day I'm going to ask myself what I can do to wring the absolute most out of life for myself and the people I love.
Do I have any illusions that it will get easier? Not at all. In fact, I expect it to get harder as I age. Someday I won't have my health; things will begin to creak and I will have to reevaluate my life, my work and my living situation. But like you, I am blessed to be i a loving partnership with an amazing person; and if our togetherness and our combined strengths are the only things that give me anything resembling hope these days, well, I'll take it. Remember that you have Dom, someone who I'm fairly sure loves you enough to walk through fire for you; and a host of friends who believe in you and love you for who you are. You are miles ahead of the madding crowd, dear.
I hear you Judy....although I haven't experienced some of life's "adventures" that you have I have come to some of the same conclusions. In the last 2 years I have lost 4 jobs due to the economy, 1 house, a car, haven't had benefits in two years and only for a 3 in the last 6 years. I used to have those good, reasonably high paying, jobs. Now I have taken a $9/hr graveyard cashiering job so that I can have enough to pay my rent and utilities. Things have turned around a little lately because the local newspaper started using freelance photogs again but who knows how long that will last and I will be back to strugling financially. The only good thing about working a lot of hours is that it probably keeps me from becoming a full blown alcoholic. I don't have the time to drink. Be strong and take care of yourself
Oh my. I have a ton to say about our current state of affairs and people like gnome who dis the OWS peeps, but I'll keep it to myself. I lost my job, my folks both lost their jobs, my sis lost her job as a social worker in an inner city school ( that needs her most). When my bank, who was bailed out with our taxpayer dollars wants to start charging me for using their services? You can bet I'm pissed off, and I know exactly where to direct my ire. I'm just glad some people have gotten pissed off enough to stand up and DO something. It's not London or Greece, but it's about fucking time.
Judy, if you have stayed strong through the challenges life has thrown at you so far, damn girl, you are tough as shit. You will make through. I think you're more of an inspiration than you know.
I love you so much, Judi! Sitting in the park isn't on my agenda...I'm not even sure what it does. But it's cold outside and after years spent sitting on the sidewalk begging, I hate the cold. We are changing our world everyday! Everyday I wake up sober and love my life, I change the world around me! In little baby steps...
we stopped by the park where OCCUPY CINCINNATI is. the real homeless people are being forced out of their space. the real homeless are being ticketed right along with the protesters. that's sad to me. i remember a time when i was homeless too. the last thing i want to do is go occupy some park downtown in a tent. hell, i wont even go camping.
and banks? well, my bank is a small bank, with few fees and excellent customer service. the same people have been waiting on me for 10 years. they know me by name, and they give my dogs treats when i come to the drive through on my way to the park in the morning.
honestly, this entire "movement" is not going to change a fucking thing. you have to get up off your ass and work hard, save your money, and don't spend more than you make. and if you want insurance for health, suck some corporate cock and be done with it.
i know you don't believe in it, but it's something, and for the first time people are talking about how fucked up our economy is. their message is breaking through and people are starting to get that there are systemic problems that need fixing.
don't march if you don't want to, but please don't hate on it. they're doing work that will benefit all of us, even if the only benefit is people waking up to realize the rising cost of living is indeed someone's fault.
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