My year end review has been scheduled for a couple of weeks. It was the first review I have had at this company in almost 4 years. It was set for today at 11am at the old office I used to work out of, before we started working from home.
I went in, nervous as hell, but optimistic I would be getting a raise. We haven't raises in 2 years! Just a DECREASE in pay in the fall of 2009. My boss didn't waste anytime getting down to business. Instead of a review, she handed me termination papers.
Terminated.
Fired.
Canned.
I didn't hear anything else.
Terminated.
I looked at my boss, she looked like she was on pain pills. I stared at her pinned out pupils and as she spoke, I heard nothing. She looked bloated, like she had gained about 30lbs. I got up and walked out of the office. I had to go home and get my work PC and phone and bring it back to her by 3pm. It was surreal. I was stunned.
Terminated.
I sat in the car and dialed Dominic's work and when he got on the phone, he was calm as he always is.
"Don't worry honey. I got this. I got us."
I called my Mom, who I've been pissed at for weeks. She was nothing but supportive and concerned. I love you Mom!!!
I called my friends in recovery. I said a prayer.
An hour later I was home, and it all hit me at once. The tears flowed for a few minutes. I set to work unplugging all my work equipment. It was actually kind of therapeutic. The elaborate set up - two PC's hooked up to one monitor and one mouse - was a fucking mess of wires under my desk. The work phone was the first to go. I hate that fucking phone. It honks constantly when people are on hold, because of how short staffed we are. Next up was the headset, and then the PC itself. I loaded it all into the car and was glad to be rid of it.
A calmness set over me.
I've stayed amazingly positive all day. I know this has happened for a reason. Something better is going to come along. I just know it.
Fuck that job. Fuck those people.
This is going to their loss. Not mine.
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13 comments:
You are going to be just fine. It was time to move on anyway. Can't wait to hear where your new adventure takes you.
What you said. Yeah. And- Spring is the time to ride!
Each day will feel a little bit different BUT you and Dominic will be fine. Keep the positive outlook and fight any demons off that try and change where you are at.
Today is a NEW DAY!
First - I'm so sorry for you.
Second - you'll get through this just fine.
I was fired in a similar fashion after busting my hump for nearly 10yrs. No warning - just >poof< you're out of a job. The emotions go wild - it's normal.
But you're absolutely right. It's their loss. And one other thing - you didn't lose your job - it was taken away from you.
Trust me on this: you'll end up better when this is all said and done. I thought my world was collapsing when I lost my job, and then I discovered just what I could offer. Interviews flowed in. My family rallied around me. And I ended up in a job that is more rewarding and more dynamic. You, too, will get there just like I did.
Sorry to hear this Judi, but you know what I LOVE about this post?
YOU ARE SO POSITIVE!!! I LOVE IT!
yup, same thing happened to me after 10 years at a job, I went home and had the BEST run of my life....took some time off and enjoyed the summer on EI and then networked with positive people....
think outside of the box ~ it is all for the BEST!!
Hang Tough girl.....
That's really rotten, Judi. I'm sorry to hear that.
These are the times when I summon the words of my very christian grandmother, who may put Jesus into everything but also has some good ideas, like... "Tough times never last but tough people do." (that's a robert schuller gem.) or "God closes a door and opens a window." or "disappointment is god's appointment." Either way, take the god out and you get the same idea-- "this too shall pass." It's a chance to break out of your box and try something new.
Sorry to hear about this. It does suck. But where there is loss, there is often opportunity.
You find out who loves you (and it sounds like you have that in spades!) and what you're made of.
I don't know you, but I read this blog. I have a feeling you're going to get through this and shine like a star on the other side.
Stay strong. You have a lot of invisible people pulling for you too!
That sucks, but you bring up a great point that it probably happened for a reason, to make room for something better. Nice job staying positive. If I were you, I'd go take a ride... it always seems to clear up my head and ultimately make me feel better. Something better WILL come along.
Head up, girl! one door closes another one opens, but you're smart so you know that, right? I just read this post yesterday http://www.jamesaltucher.com/2011/03/10-things-you-need-to-do-if-you-were-fired-yesterday/ it must be karma...good advice in it. I hope all the best for whatever new path this takes you on :)
Hang in there it will all be o.k. Good Luck to you :)
I think it's been time to move on. I believe you've been frustrated with and hating on that job for awhile now. It's definitely time for something better.
As of April 1st, I'm out of a job too. April Fool's Day; I'm trying not to read anything into that! Like you, I'm considering this an opportunity. We're gonna make it!
Btw, my husband responded the same as yours. It's nice to know someone's got your back.
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