We're doing it.

We're getting married. Dominic and I are making it official.

I knew the minute I met him that this was the man I was going to grow old with. We've had to work through so much to get to where we are now in our relationship. We're so solid. We balance each other out. He's my BFF and I am his. We take care of each other. We're a team.

We've been talking about getting married this past year. I blogged about it last November. If you read that post, it's a cute story about how we met, which was through our LBS.

So it's only appropriate to do this in Vegas at Interbike.

This will be the first marriage for both of us. I have zero desire for a big wedding. I have enough anxiety in my life. A wedding day would probably put me in the psych ward. I would have been fine just going down to the courthouse and eloping, and then going for a bike ride. Dominic wanted to have a big family celebration. We thought about doing it at this really cool park that overlooks the city but it was like 3K. We don't have any money for that shit! Then we thought about the clubhouse where Dominic's Dad lives but I was not happy with the thought of having my wedding pictures taken in front of a gazebo on the lake. That's just not me.

So after the Interbike plans were finalized, I begged Dominic to just do it in Vegas and he finally agreed. I am so excited! We ordered titanium wedding bands which we will have engraved. Neither one of us gets to see what the other had engraved until we put the rings on. I am also changing my name! I've been wanting to get rid of my last name for almost 40 years.

The plan is to fly in to Vegas and just get it done sometime while we're there. We have 4 days. I am not planning anything. It's just gonna fall into place. It's hella easy to get married in Vegas. And no, I am not going to pay an extra 200 bucks to get walked down the aisle by Elvis. It'll probably be some seedy chapel in the shitty part of town.

If you're at Interbike, I hope you'll come celebrate with us. My DC buddies will be there, as well as our LBS owners, and a few other bike friends from Cincinnati.

Future Mr. and Mrs. LoPresti

fukitol

after i wrote that post about bike racing, i had a shit bike race wed nite. and it led to a lot of tears, drama at home, and a bunch of anger.

i don't want to race anymore. i am supposed to race another week of the devou park race series but i am done. i was DFL week #1. but i held a wheel. last week i couldn't even hold a fucking wheel. the roads were wet, and i was so unhappy the entire 30 minute race that i flipped off the people cheering for me.

yes, i flipped them off. and i don't care.

i've been shut up in the house ever since that race working 12 hour shifts. i got out early before work a couple of days to ride and think. it gets dangerous when i am alone with my thoughts. i can talk myself into things that you can't even imagine.

i've been fighting with my mom too. she left yesterday for california. my sister flew her out there for her own selfish reasons - to have someone fly back with her kid, who lives here with his dad. my mom doesn't get around that great and i worry about her flying. i work in emergency travel and know all about the horrors of travel. i am pretty sure she wound up stuck in ORD but no one has called to tell me. so i am just going to let my wonderful sister in CA worry about it.

when i fight with my mom, that usually means i fight with dominic. he's such a family oriented guy. he loves his mom and dad like crazy and they love the shit out of him. me and my family aren't like that. my dad left when i was a baby. blah blah blah. i don't give a fuck anymore.

if i didn't have dominic, i swear i would pack up my car with the dogs and my computers and move to AZ.

Following my heart

I re-read the email again. It was from Jen, my IM coach.
FOLLOW YOUR HEART.....Triathlon is NOT going anywhere. YOU have doing SUPER well at bike racing and having great success and it is YOU...you thrive in that environment, so do not fight it...

I love racing bikes. I love it. She's right. I do thrive in this environment. Even though I suck, I have hope for improvement - unlike triathlon, where I know I will always suck.

This is a picture of me after my second triathlon ever, taken 7/07, 3 years ago. I had my 1st road bike with huge clip on aero bars. An entry level Fuji. Look, the reflectors were still on it (I hadn't met Dominic yet). I went to the race alone. I didn't know anyone. I just showed up, raced, and then left. I was so proud of myself though. It was a 1500m swim, a 40k ride and a 10k run and I think I finished in 3:04 or something.



I was out riding early before work the other day and I had a kind of epiphany. I really do not miss triathlon. I don't miss the double workout days. I don't miss the insatiable hunger I could never seem to satisfy. I love being able to lounge, and not worry if I am going to get that 3k swim in. I love saying fuck it and just going down the slide with Dominic and laughing and splashing and having fun and enjoying my summer with my guy.

And not taking things so damn serious.

I have rode something like 2,450 miles since mid-March. That's just road bike miles too. That doesn't count any mountain biking. Add in a few swims here and there, and that's all I train these days. I've lost 6lbs and am leaner than I've ever been. I am consuming half of the calories I was consuming last summer.



I have raced 'cross. I have raced road. I have raced one criterium (ONE place away from the podium). I am not scared anymore. I love bike races. I love the vibe, the people (most of them), and most of all, the friends I have made this year. In last week's race I had people cheering from me in every direction, it was rad.

I was riding my bike the other day and this Madonna song, Ray of Light, came on:

Faster than the speeding light (* im not) she's flying;
Trying to remember where it all began;
.......And I feel...like I just got home!

It sounds lame kind of but I do feel at home on my bikes.

Devou Park Crit #1

Last night was the first race of the Devou Park Race Series. It's a 1 mile course with a sharp technical turn into a nice descent with a sharp right turn at the bottom of the hill, and then a long ass climb to the sprint finish. The hill is a mutha'. To climb it 9+ times sucked.



I woke up feeling sick yesterday. Scratchy throat, that yucky all over kind of feeling. I was really fucking cranky and not looking forward to racing a crit. I was also helping out with the set up so I had to be there early. Once I got there though, my bad mood went away. Bike races are like that. There is a fun vibe at bike races, not like triathlon, where everyone is so serious. All of the sudden I was out of my head, and in a better mood, though not looking forward to the hard effort that was about to come.

I helped set up and did some socializing and then got ready to race. I rode the course a couple times with Carrie and then it was time to line up.

There were 7 of us. I talked my speedy tri-friend Laurah into racing finally. It was her first crit. She did really well, and I sucked her wheel for basically the entire race. She wouldn't let me pull at all. Everytime we passed the announcer he would point out that "LAURAH T_____ IS DOING A GREAT JOB OF PULLING THAT PACK". Hey, at least I offered. She has that time-trial mentality.



The hill climb was kicking my ass and I could hardly hang on. All I wanted to do was not get dropped. On the last lap I somehow got ahead of Laurah and took the turn downhill, bombing down the hill like I've never done before, and then once I made the right turn headed back up the hill, I tried to keep some distance between us but her skinny little ass passed me on the hill about halfway up. She took the sprint.



I finished 6th of 7. I should have been a DFL but my friend Carrie crashed. She's ok, not hurt too bad, but she would have had 2nd had she not went down.

This is a fantastic training race for me. If I can just hang onto the back of the pack, I will be happy at this point.

This week in pictures....

Not much to say about now. Here are a few pictures taken with my cell the past week or so. I was bummed Claire and I didn't take any pics when she was here though.

Cool shot, with the shadow.





50+ mile road ride with Eric from Team Hungry and Zack from Half Acre. I stayed with them on the flats, lost them on the hills. Sucked Zack's wheel for 25+ miles and basically got my ass handed to me! Thanks for letting me hang boys.



The muscial tribute for Chris, after his memorial service.

This is Kyle, me and Ben. I've known these guys since 1984.



Joetta, Amy and me. I shot so much fucking dope with these two. It's insane we are all standing there, alive and well.



MMMM. The pool. I have been doing a lot of laying around on my ass.



My praying Gnome. We collect them. He's going to pray for me.



This is actually not a picture from my phone. This is a picture of a piece of graffiti my friend Aaron RIP did over 2 decades ago. Looks at the words:


Reality is for people who can't handle drugs



I was just telling my friend Stacy the there day....the longer I stay off dope and am a contributing member of society, the more I see how fucked over I am getting. Every which way I turn. It's really sad. No wonder I spent a decade not wanting to handle the pressures of real life.

SADNESS

The last few weeks have been a whirlwind of bike races, out of town visitors, and the death of an old friend. My emotions are running on overload and I want to get these thoughts out before I forget them. I have like 4 draft posts started but can't seem to finish.

I feel like I am falling apart.

Financially, we're at the bottom. I hate to divulge this kind of info out there but fuck it, it's my blog and right now, it's my biggest concern. We booked the Vegas trip with the last funds I had on my credit card. I thought Dominic's summer bartending hours would pick up (they haven't) and my 5% pay increase (up from last year's 18% decrease) would make things easier. The roof is leaking, the credit cards are maxed out, and both of us are just working to pay the bills. No money for NADA. I often think about taking the money from my 401K. Shit, it may not even be there when I am 55 at the rate we're going. The Man will probably get most of it.

Isn't that what it's all about? The Fucking Man. Paying The Man. Then getting Fucked Over by The Man.

AHHHHHHH.


I found out my property value has dropped 65% of what my loan is for. Obama's ridiculous "Stimulus Plan" that is supposed to benefit homeowners is a fucking joke! I have to be in foreclosure to get any help. I have to basically give up my credit, the credit I have worked my ass off for, to be able to participate in any of that. What a fucking crock of shit. I really believed in that mother fucker when I voted for him. THANKS SO MUCH! (This is not an invite to discuss your political views in the comments section though, sorry).

Yea, I am an emotional mess.

The funeral for Chris is tomorrow. I've been talking to old friends. People I have known since the 8th fucking grade. I think back to when Desi would drive by after school in his convertible. I can still see us waving him down for a ride. We all worked in this phone center. Chris was one of the managers. We had to call people and ask them who they were going to vote for in the upcoming presidential election. All of my friends worked there. It paid 5 bucks an hour and we'd get drunk while we made calls! It was the craziest job.

I wish I could be a kid again. Go back to the day when all I needed was a 20 hour a week job that paid 5 bucks an hour. To not know about the evils in this world. Sometimes I wish I could go back to that. That feeling of just being a kid, exploring, finding out who you are and what life is supposed to be.

Just what is it?

This thing we call life?

And why is it is so CRUEL?

RIP Chris Walker 1968-2010

UPDATED 7/6/2010
Here is his funeral info.
In lieu of flowers, the family asks that you make a donation to Pay it Forward in Chris' name.


I told you about my friend Chris a while back.

I got a text from John C. on Friday night while I was working.

Chris went into cardiac arrest. On my way to the hospital.

After I forwarded that text to a bunch of friends, I waited and John called about 20 minutes later. He was at the hospital. He said "GET HERE".

Chris had had 3 heart attacks. His blood pressure was dropping. The nurse said they were having a hard time keeping his blood pressure up.

I clocked out of work after my most awesome co-workers said they'd take care of everything. I just grabbed my purse and drove straight to the hospital. A group of people were standing outside when I got there, taking smoke breaks.

The waiting room was a mob scene of Chris' friends and family members. His Mom was flying in from DC. His sister was losing it. All of his family and a bunch of our old friends just sat there waiting. Kyle drank white wine on ice in a dixie cup while me and Emily made small talk. Desi was in and out, talking on the phone. Timika was texting from Chicago, ready to drive the 5 hours to see Chris.

The nurses came out to bring us in to see Chris. Groups of people took turns. We wore gowns and gloves. He was covered with blankets and his face grimaced with pain. His blood pressure started to rise with each set of visitors. We were hopeful. I went in a second time and touched his face, kissed him, told him I loved him, he mouthed it back to me.

I left around midnight. John promised to call if anything changed. I went home and took an ambian and was knocked out cold by 1am. Next thing I know, it's 7am and my phone is ringing. It was Timika, she was crying so hard she couldn't talk. I looked at my missed calls from John and then a text that came through at 3:17am.

He passed.

Rest in peace Chris. You are now free of pain, playing bass upstairs for the Big Man.

Working with OB!

Coach OB is something of a legend here in Cincinnati. I found this out while I was investigating him. Everyone in the cycling community seemed to know of him and respect the shit out of his riding. Not ONE person had a bad thing to say about him. I asked people like Mark H. who rides 365 days a year and has been on the racing scene a long time. He gave him a thumb's up. A couple shop owners I know and respect also talked him up. More and more people seemed to talk about this infamous "OB". I saw his name on Facebook a lot too.

OB 1989


When I signed on with him, I just thought I'd get a schedule. That's all I really wanted. Someone to help guide me on workouts for CX, how many hours I should be riding, that kind of thing. OB gives you more than that. He makes you feel like you are his only client, when in reality he coaches many talented cyclists. I get texts and calls everyday. If he needs to talk to me or explain something, we set up a time to talk.

Since OB is local, he is at all the races. If he isn't racing, he is cheering for all of his athletes. It's totally rad to have someone local, someone I see on a regular basis, someone who screams JUDI PATOOTY and tickles my leg when he laps me in a road race.

OB 2010 (the one in green in the middle)


I got a text last Monday from OB asking if I could come out and ride with him on Tuesday. Well, duh, you know I dropped everything to do this. I had an early morning dentist appointment but I was pulling into his driveway at 11:15am, ready to ride.

OB is a cat 1 x-pro who can really fucking ride. It was an honor to ride with him. I was all nervous because right away he started showing me the right way to hold my bars. Haha. We took off on some nice roads with little traffic. We rode side by side some while he checked my fit and we discussed some changes. Eventually we came onto 4 climbs. He made me climb out of the saddle on my hoods, one finger on each brake lever. Ouch. HR spiked to 189 while I tried to show off and climb up the hill way too fast.

Later, I picked his brain about pedals, shoes, wheels, gloves (he doesn't wear them) saddles, computers... I asked about how he started racing. He raced from 1986 - 2006 straight, 50-70 races a year. He has every freaking bib number too. He loves racing. I have never seen anyone happier racing a bike. His garage was amazing with gorgeous old bikes hanging around, a Landshark tandem even!

It was a great ride, about 46 miles.

I am so appreciative of having OB in my life. He's amazing. I don't talk people up like this unless I really mean it. He's got a huge future in coaching and I am lucky to be one of his clients. I think this guy is going to have to turn clients away soon.

Malissa, another OB client, OB, and I after a race this spring.



Oh and did I mention even Dominic has a man-crush on him?