I have never been married. I was so into my drug use in my 20's, I didn't give a shit about it cuz I thought I was going to be dead by age 30. A lot of my friends had kids during their drug use and a lot of my them also got married.
Nowadays, MOST everyone my age has either been married or has kids. But not me. Nor Dominic. I was kind of engaged once. But I gave the ring back and then he gave it back to me so I traded it for heroin.
I decided a long time ago that marriage was not for me. I was with my x for 9 years and never wanted to marry him. I hated him.
I met Dominic through our bike shop on August 14th, 2007. I had bought pedals and shoes. My bike shop folks had set me up with Dominic so could teach me how to use them. I showed up to the bike shop and he was behind the counter. He looked at me and said "Are you the triathlete?" and I was like "Yea, are you Dominic?". Wanda and Ron (the shop owners) had been trying to set us up for a training ride for weeks. It was like instant attraction. We started talking about helmets (I NEVER wore one, he didn't either) and headphones, and the longest rides we had done.
My shoes were sitting on the counter, cleats installed. I had bought the ugliest pair of tri-shoes you ever saw. I went cheap and knew nothing about shoes, so I bought Nashbar brand. They were so ugly. Silver and gold tri-shoes. I couldn't believe how ugly they were and we were both laughing about it. We still laugh about it, hysterically.
Anyways, I practiced clipping in for an hour on the trainer, and at one point, I bashed my shin so hard it started bleeding. I just kept riding. Dominic liked that. Then Ron told Dominic to take me down to the Y's parking lot and practice there. So we met over there and Dominic and I rode around that lot for a looooong time. He told me he was an x-drug addict, and I told him I was too. I asked what his drug of choice was (cocaine) and I told him mine (heroin) and then we high-fived.
I remember it like it was yesterday.
So a couple days later he calls to make arrangements to come over to my house, and make sure my bike was race ready. My friend said "The bike shop dude came to your house?"
And it's been like, crazy ever since and I love the shit out of him. Like, we are exactly alike. You know when you meet that someone. You just click. It works.
We have most certainly had our ups and downs. Some of you know just how bad. We have had some nasty fights that resulted in break ups that lasted weeks. But I think we're through that now. I think we have found our groove finally.
He's talking to me about marriage ("I want to call you MY WIFE!") and so I have been thinking about marriage too.
Please, do not tell me I need an engagement ring either. I would much rather have carbon race wheels or a dura ace upgrade. Who wears a rock to a bike race anyways? I mean, no offense to the girls out there who NEED a ring and a proper proposal and all that. I am not into it. I haven't worn make up in well over 2 years and wear zero jewelry. A wedding band is going to be a big enough pain in the ass.
So, I just wanted to share this with ya'll.
34 comments:
okay, I've been through some of the fights, the breakups, the make-ups, the I want to get married, he doesn't....remember? I've been following your blog long enough to know...
So, that said, you two are right together...make a commitment and stick through the thick and the thin. Life's too short to jerk around with the "maybe's"....
just my opinion of course....
I know there will be people who will say just live together...
your decision of course, but Judi, whatever you decide, please just BE HAPPY TOGETHER!!!
xoxoxoxo
ps, have a kickass wedding at a CX...now that would rock!!!
oh and I'm coming if you do...LMFAO
That's truly beautiful, Judi!
Who needs a ring? Who needs a wedding? It's all up to you- it's what signifies your love and committment. There was a wedding at a CX race out east this year, and it looked like the funnest thing ever.
My unsolicited advice, though- if he gave you fancy wheels as a proposal/gift, what if you crash them or they get stolen or ruined? If you go that road, just be prepared- rings/tattoos/etc are "permanent" and it is handy in it avoids the "I just smashed the symbol of our love into 43987 pieces, now what, and what does that mean?" Or you could, of course, answer those questions before they come!
That's pretty freaking adorable. I'm happy he makes you so happy.
that is the sweetest story i ever read!!! woman, you have GOT to write your book.
Here's my unsolicited advice: Do whatever the fuck you want, and screw everyone else! (Including me!)
Mazel tov!
Great post :) You really touch home base and speak from the heart.
And who needs a ring or a huge wedding? I'd much rather have some sweet zipp wheels :)
Rock on! And like you said - you just know. If and when it comes to the day, do it how you want and no other way. 'Cuz if you're lucky enough, it'll be the only time you do it. Trust me.
Signed,
A guy whose been happily married for nearly 17 years.
I love this post.
Reading and commenting on this post has just made me late for work - worth it though as has sent me off smiling and very happy for you! Aaah. Good luck with whatever you decide - whether or not you get married, you'll always be together anyway.
A rock is just heavy and heavy screws your power-to-weight-ratio up the hill... :-)
Congrats to the two of you and may you live happily ever after ... I mean it!
OK, that almost made me cry you bitch. I always thought I was that way too until you find HIM. Once you find HIM, then it makes everything OK. Being married IS different, no matter what we say or how we try to say we're in this together. Married is - we get into a fight and there's NO breaking up, only working it out, there's just us, we're a team to take over the world. But really, that sounds amazing. I love the picture of you guys at IM finish - it's stuff like that, that really shows the love to me. The look on his face.
Ring or no ring, name or no name, I hope you do it, it's different, it's good. We still look at each other every day and just say, yep, we still got it!
PS There were 9 people at our wedding and I had birkenstocks on. It's whatever YOU guys want.
Loves it! Thanks for sharing.
Wow. This really made me smile. You deserve this happiness!
awwww i LOVE love :) congratulations on finding your soulmate!
It was all I could do not to skip to the end of your post. I read each line and made sure I did not miss anything.... and then... your story just came to a stop! @!%^&!
You are our drug and we need more of this story :))
for the record, I do have a diamond but I have not worn it in about a year. Not a bike friendly thing to have as you already pointed out. drives Scott crazy.
I agree with you... give me entry fee money or something. Heck I need new undies but would rather have new cycle glasses.
Those shoes are just too funny :)
"I want to call you MY WIFE!"
This literally made me cry.
You know, we met during one of those break ups you had. I figured time would help you get over him. Then, I saw the two of you together for the first time...and I totally got it. Now, I always know those fights just need some time. because you two just fit. you come alive when you're together.
From hanging out with you two at Louisville, you guys did act like a married couple. Do whatever you want. Except, if you have not replaced those tris shoes yet, do that first. They are fucking ugly!
Great post and thanks for sharing. May you both be happy and great times always!
Awesome.... Just awesome.
tim - LMAO! i bought adidas cycling shoes 2 weeks after we met and sold the tri-shoes on ebay.
Judi, Go get your happily ever after!
Soul mates are hard to come by. I"m on my 2nd marriage (3rd engagement), just had my 15th anniversary. We weren't exceptionally wealthy when we got married (still aren't), so we didn't break the bank on a ring. I asked her on our 10th if she wanted an upgrade, since we could afford a really nice one then, and I would have gladly plunked down the cash for whatever she wanted. She said 'no, I like this one'.
- yeah, she's still the one.
Congrats, best wishes.
Woo hoo!!!!!!! I'm with you on the ring. Mine starting bothering my finger a number of years ago, so I started taking it off at night. One morning, I forgot to put it back on, and I haven't worn my rings since. I do otherwise wear jewelry but I generally think engagement/wedding rings are boring and old fashioned and send a message I deplore (I'm "owned" by someone - ick). Anyway, just telling you to stick by your feelings - engagement race wheels would be the BEST! :)
I think you get to choose whatever symbol of "this one forever" that works for you and Dominic. Marriage is about the commitment, not the frilly crap - but I do think there is a magic in formally making the commitment in front of your community. Congratulations on getting past the wicked break ups and best wishes for your future with the guy who totally gets you. That IM picture of y'all is awesome.
Fantastic! I have been following along for a long time, and I think you are in such a great place. Congrats to both of you. You should get married right after Louisville - love the picture with the post.
...beautiful, you guys...
...always treat each other well & look for little ways to share happiness together...
Love is so punk rock!
It's amazing how many cyclists are or have been substance abusers. It is my contention that the sport attracts obsessive types (myself included) who use it to channel all manner of demons. I found you through Groover, BTW.
I knew it,
be happy, be cool.
But most of all,
look after each other.
That's all that matters.
-B
Despite what people have posted, I LOVE my engagement and wedding rings!! They're as fancy as we could afford at the time (we split the cost of them, including the engagement ring), and I love them, I look at them most days and think "Wow I can't beleive I'm married". Though admitably I've been married a bit over a year, sO I guess I'm still in teh newlywed phase. But really, do what you want. Don't let anyone tell you what you "should" do in terms of your wedding/engagement/whatever. But don't be afraid to be girly and excited (if you want). I'm not that way but couldnt' help it with my wedding. And I did cry at my wedding!
Oh yeah..congrats!
How sweet!
No, you don't "need" a ring. I do absolutely LOVE mine but they certainly aren't for everyone.
This is a beautiful post. Made me cry!
My partner and I had both been married before, now both divorced we eloped to Sydney three weeks ago and got married. I wrote a quick note about it on my log, but will probably update that one when I put some pics on as we did get a photographer and I have some pics now.......only got the disc a couple of days ago.........eloping is fun......and our friends all had lovely things to say when they found out/.....Just an idea......then you can get married ANYWHERE!!!
Judi, I'm so glad that you are happy! Whatever you decide to do it is obvious how you guys feel about each other. I love the pictures you posted too. All the best!
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